Lessons Learned
Three Suggestions from Veteran Stepmoms​
FaithStepping's List
What have I learned? Wow... I have learned a lot. I don't know if I can put it all into words. But I will try.

1. Some things are not that important. The house doesn't always have to be spotless and the meals do not always have to be "healthy". Sometimes, the important thing is just to stop and love my family. Get down in the floor and have a tickle fight with the skids. Stop nagging so much. Let them eat dinner in the front room while watching their favorite show. Let them have a sucker at the bank, even though they haven't had dinner yet. Laugh when they tell a joke! Listen to them laugh as they play their games with each other.

2. I don't have to be super stepmom! I can't do it all. Relax more and breath. When the skids refuse to do homework or chores, step back and think before reacting emotionally. These are the times when I need to say, "Not my kids, not my problem." Send them to their room and let them stay until DH gets home. Then let him deal with it. Stop stressing out so much.

3. BM isn't that bad. She can actually be a pretty good ally where the skids are concerned. Yet, there are still some major boundaries that I need to keep in place with her. She is not my best friend. She is more like a business associate. When I look at it this way, it is a little easier to process her place in my life.

4. This is my home. I have a right to be respected in my own home. I have the right to set rules and consequences for when they are broken. DH is my husband and he supports me. I should never feel intimidated by the skids, the ILS, or BM. If any of them come into my home and disrespect me, I have a right to ask them to leave (BM or ILS) or send them to their room.

5. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about me. God is the only one that I have to please. If I please him, then all the rest will fall into place. My goal is to have a clear conscious before God, my maker. And to live in peace and love with my husband. Anyone who has a problem with me, doesn't matter anyway!

6. I cannot change anyone. Only myself.... However, prayer changes things! Working on myself and doing what I can to be a better person, and praying about the rest is all that is required of me.
Stepmoms on a Mission®
PO Box 7, Medford NJ 08055
609.206.2009
Cathryn@smoms.org