Lessons Learned
Three Suggestions from Veteran Stepmoms​
Stepmotherof3's List
Well I am a future SMOM... but say I have been a SMOM for 3 years to 3 kids (ages 10, 7, and 5), and I have 1 bio daughter who is 9 months old. I am 26 years years old, so I am pretty new at some stuff, but I feel like these 3 years have been some of the toughest, and some of the greatest days of my life. I love my step children with all of my heart, and in my situation my SKIDS view me more as a mom to them then their own BM. FDH and I are currently fighting for custody. If I had to look back and do something differently what would I do, well here are a few things I would have changed:

1. I would try not to get so emotionally involved, though that's easier said then done. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, and show that things bother me. I think BM got a rise out of knowing that she bothered me.

2. I would try to have a little more patience... because of the situation my skids are in with their BM, they are very needy... and though I love them with all my heart, sometimes that clinginess was very tough to deal with. The kids would act out in ways that I felt were not appropriate for a child, and DH would tell me that we need to cut them some slack because of the life they have to live (by acting out, simple things like attitudes... and not to just me, but their father as well... and not listening). I feel that I would have benefited myself if I just had a bit more patience. 

3. I would try to separate myself as much as I could from BM, and not involve myself.... I am the type of person that likes to be a part of everything... I don't want to be left out, and well sometimes, I need to realize that I don't need to be a part of everything.
Stepmoms on a Mission®
PO Box 7, Medford NJ 08055
609.206.2009
Cathryn@smoms.org