Lessons Learned
Three Suggestions from Veteran Stepmoms​
Circles of Karma's List
Great question... I love self reflection as a way to improve myself for the future:
1) I would not go into this situation with such rose colored glasses. I thought my peaceful nature and optimism would 'conquer all' so to speak. Wrong! Being the one trying to bring it all together 'for the sake of SD' only caused ME to be hurt time and time again. My husband already knew the nature of his ex-wife and was 'like a duck' through it all, just letting her 2faced snottiness roll off his back.

He was never sucked into a phony conversation masked with niceness only to lead to a backhanded insult. I SO WISH I would’ve been like that from the get go instead of being used, lied to, and made a fool of over the last 6 years by my SD and her Bm. Being a good person doesn't change a situation controlled by a selfish, uncaring, power tripping BM :/ and now she's rubbed off on SD, but that's another post...

2)I would NOT have gone SO out of my way to accommodate/ impress SD and her mom. Any time my husband was working and BM needed a 'sitter' I did my best to accommodate, even if it meant cutting plans short that <> had! I just tried too hard to show SD that I care about her, only later to be taken for granted and advantage of. I fear that I may have contributed to SD's spoiled, self entitled attitude by going out of my way for her so much! (She's almost 12 by the way) and I'm truly dreading the teen years, yipes! 

3) This is the big one... I would have gotten pregnant the spring after I got married as we originally planned. Having my son has brought so much meaning and light to my life, I definitely wish I had had him sooner! We thought we were doing the responsible thing by waiting to be more financially stable, if that's truly possible. Looking back we would have been fine, and having my own child has given me a much needed shift in perspective. If I had this perspective sooner I most likely wouldn't have made mistakes number 1 and 2 ... Or at least maybe it wouldn't have gotten to the point that I can't stand my Sd (turning into her manipulative mother!)

Ugh :/   How I love my Dear Son, and strong hubby!!! I thank goodness for these blessings.
Stepmoms on a Mission®
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609.206.2009
Cathryn@smoms.org