Lessons Learned
Three Suggestions from Veteran Stepmoms​
Jacob's SM's List
Jacob’s SM
I love reading all of your stories. We all seem to have the same idea about what we would differently. As I am still learning, I know some things that I would definitely change. 

1. Not jumping head first trying to be the best SMOM out there. BM is looney tune, and doesn't care as much as she should so I took over the role as being the motherly figure in his life. BF needed to step up, and be more of a dad. Allow myself to feel what I needed to feel so I wouldn’t resent the child later on. 

2. Sit down and talk to my bf about what my boundaries would be as a FSMOM and NOT HIS MOTHER. I don't have any children right now because I chose to protect myself from anything like that ever happening. BF and BM are the parents who made that decision, not me so they need to be responsible for their decisions. 

3. Not taking everything so personal. My future MIL will only care about me when I give her a grandchild, and until then I needed to take a step back and ignore her. MIL will also be self absorbed in her own infidelities so if she can lie to her husband and son then she will most likely not be honest with me ever. I am a great person, and have a wonderful man that loves me so that is all that matters. Having my FMIL like me doesn't need to affect me, at all. 

4. Accept that BM is a looney tune, and ignore everything that she says/does/writes, etc. I spent a lot of time letting her inside my head, and mess with my relationship. Wasting my time thinking about her and my BF's past just caused me grief, heartache, stress, and lots of headaches that were not necessary. 

I wish that we could have a happy blended family, and that everything would be Brady Bunch-esque but this family will not be like that. I'm going to worry about my family, my dog children, and my relationship with my BF. And thats it!!
A lot is easier said then done though! Bla!
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