Cathryn Bond Doyle 
Stepmom Trainer, Consultant and Mentor

Hello & Welcome to my site!

If you’re considering working with me privately, taking a workshop or becoming a forum Member, I thought you might wonder, “What makes her a stepmom trainer & mentor? and "What can this woman teach me?” so I created this page to answer those valid questions.  


My goal, as a train & mentor to stepmoms, is to help you cultivate greater emotional well-being and wisdom and help you maintain a strong ever-loving connection with your partner by giving you new skills & insights while helping you learn more about yourself & what you need. While no one has all the answers​, I sure have a lot of questions, stories & options that will help you figure out what is best for you.

My expertise comes from personal experiences, the work I’ve done with other stepmoms and my own search for wisdom with other experts.  I’ve been in the stepmom trenches since 1996 and I want to pass along what I’ve learned to any woman who feels drawn to the work. How did I acquire my knowledge about human behavior, psychology, relationships?  There's an answer for that question. I'll be as succinct as I can. Thanks for you interest. 


I've gathered my skills in several ways:

  1. Graduated Magna Cum Laude with BS in Management from University of Hartford in 1978.
  2. Trained and worked as IBM Sales Rep. from 1978-1980.
  3. Was Director of Electronic Banking, introducing first ATMS with CT Banks.
  4. Went out on my own in 1984 as a independent consultant, trainer, writer & speaker becoming an internationally recognized expert in helping people develop their own strengths, overcome fears (new porducts like ATM's & Debit Cards) & training thousands of people to confidently embrace change & improve their interpersonal & problem-solving skills (1978-2000).
  5. Became a Stepmom on 1996 to 5-year old stepson; most of them challenging years.
  6. Founded SMOMS in March 2000 & began working professionally with Stepmoms (full time). Work included moderating weekly and monthly support groups in NJ, conducting private consultations and thousands of hours supporting Stepmoms on SMOMS.org.
  7. Since 2007, I've paid for over 1,100 hours of private training from experts (authors, therapists, consultants) so I could better understand & develop new ways to handle personal and relationship issues facing Stepmoms today. 


What you’ll learn from me comes from what I’ve experienced in real life, not clinical studies or the untested work of others. Like the story-tellers of old passed down their wisdom to help the next generations, I believe working with people who’ve gone before us, felt what we’ve felt, lived through what we’re struggling with now and who already did what we’re trying to do, can be a profound compassionate, loving exploration and empowering learning experience. 


When I started SMOMS® in 2000, it was with the goal of offering compassionate, emotional and problem solving support for stepmoms who were  searching for empathy and answers, like I was and the vision of building an organization to educate, support and empower Stepmoms around the world. 

If you read my new book and the body of work freely displayed here on SMOMS.org, you’ll get a sense of my approach and you'll know if what I have to teach is what you want to learn. Whether you drop by the site to read an article, join as a Guest or short-term member for immediate support or the forum boards or choose to work more actively with me as a Lifetime Member, workshop participant or private client, may you find the answers you're looking for to bring you more peace and joy.​ 


More than ever, I remain passionate about helping Stepmoms and I look forward to working with those of you who want to learn more, talk about, work thru, get better at, try out and get support for the many complex issues we face as Stepmoms.​​​​

 

I wholeheartedly welcome you to join me on this profound and empowering journey.

Warm and Kind Regards,​

Cathryn


For more specifics, you can read my bio at cbdoyle.com.

For some testimonials, you can read them by clicking here.


As a Member of SMOMS.org you'll realize:

  • How incredibly good it feels to realize that you’re not crazy, too needy, over-sensitive or alone anymore!
  • How interesting, invigorating & inspiring it can be to share experiences with stepmoms, from all walks of life, who truly understand how you feel.

Become a forum Member and look at some of the issues we'll be working on together. There sure is a lot to talk about:

  1. How to become conscious of any harsh self-judgments & imprisoning beliefs so you can replace them with unconditionally loving, compassionate self-talk & supportive beliefs. 
  2. How to respond to uncooperative bio-moms and any of the ridiculous, intrusive, unfair, unkind, hostile, manipulative and narcissistic actions your stepkids’ mother may present to you.  Do it with a conscious, empowered attitude and self-respecting choices.
  3. How to help yourself feel better anytime you feel left-out, unappreciated, grief-stricken, disrespected, detached, anxious, judged, silenced or invisible.
  4. How to free yourself from feeling trapped by, and a victim of, the circumstances of your stepfamily situations. 
  5. How to learn from any resentment, rage, hatred & other intense reactions so you can process your emotions, better stand up for your needs & uphold healthy boundaries. 
  6. How to interact with your stepkids in kind, productive and mutually respectful ways especially when their actions (or inactions) upset you.
  7. How to minimize any tension between you and your partner; even when your partner’s behavior is judgmental, defensive or distorted by divorce guilt, grief and fears.
  8. How to strengthen your very special intimate loving bond with your partner. 
  9. How to reconnect with & sustain your happy, optimistic, energetic, open-hearted and loving nature, even if you’re feeling exhausted, bitter, defeated, depressed or out of ideas and motivation at this time.
  10. How healing and liberating it feels (such a relief) to learn more about yourself. 
It can be hard to believe that being a stepmom is really a tremendous opportunity for personal growth, but I can tell you from experience and with heartfelt enthusiasm that it’s true!

PS I’m not a therapist or a licensed as a counselor... 

I've been a consultant since 1984 and sharing personal experiences has always been part of my working style. Because I’m NOT a therapist, I’m NOT bound by the ethical parameters that, for the most part, prevent therapists from revealing anything about themselves when working with clients. This relationship boundary keeps the focus on the client by creating a clinical environment for the client’s process. This model seems to work … with the right therapist but not for me and my work. 


Happily, as a teacher, consultant and mentor, I’m free to share my personal feelings, experiences and lessons learned with all of you. I'm delighted to be a mentor, friend and part of the amazing sisterhood of Stepmoms on a Mission®.

Therapy with someone competent to help women in the role of Stepmoms can be very important. I know from personal experience that working with a wise and wonderful therapist can teach you to heal the emotional wounds we all bring from our past into our relationships.   If you’re working with a therapist, PLEASE be sure you’re working with a therapist who has done his or her own personal growth work, ideally is a Stepmom and who demonstrates to you that he/she is aware of the unique aspects of being a Stepmom.


Taking your time & trusting your gut when selecting your therapist is worth every ounce of energy. Please NEVER settle. Many of my clients work in tandem with their therapists and it’s been a terrific synergistic process that I wholeheartedly encourage. FYI: Dr. Alice Miller has written a few pages offering ideas for interviewing a therapist in her book, “Free From Lies; Discovering your true needs.” (pgs. 121-126) You may want to check that out on Amazon.








Stepmoms on a Mission®
PO Box 7, Medford NJ 08055
609.206.2009
Cathryn@smoms.org